we have all been here before…

It’s been a roller coaster of a day. We will see what tomorrow brings.

This record has been in my dna for the better part of 40 plus years. It’s hard to fathom it probably wasn’t even ten years old the first time I ever heard it and even then It was seen as old peoples music, part of the past. Now those old punks are admitting they always loved it maybe.

It’s like an old friend. I can hum along to every overblown, pretentious song on it.

Carry on “ the sky is clearing” hopeful, rejoicing, “we’ve got to carry on.”

Folk, rock, jazz, blues, country and it’s all rolled into a psychedelic haze.

“Know they love you..” Jerry pickin away in the background, yes it’s sentimental but there’s a truth there somewhere. What dreams did we pick?

For years when I had hair I really lived Almost Cut amy Hair. Until I realized that only the Cros can pull the skullet off realistically. The saddest tale I heard was Crosby talking about how they shaved his head when he was in jail in Texas.

Also I think we’ve all had the flue for Christmas at one time. Maybe that’s what o have going on right now.

“All my changes were there…” we all have that gnawing terrible homesickness at times. The need to get back to the place we are from where we became who we are or at least the seeds were planted.

4+20 still connects me to that teenager who listened to it and couldn’t imagine being so old. Now I am over twice that age and still feeling closer to that teenager in a lot of ways than my peers.

As this stupid recovery drags on I am constantly forced to consider how fragile I am as an animal and how lucky we are as a species. I am also faced with my privilege. I have good insurance and can get this work done. In the past I would’ve just gone blind in my right eye and moved on.

“Country girl I think your pretty…” I got to say this again today. When I listened to this song in Liverpool in the 80’s I had no idea that one day I would be sat on that distant west coast of America. It was a fantasy a dream of course it really was the land of dreams then instead of the waking nightmare I sometimes think it has become.

There’s a jaded bloated optimism to this record “everybody I love you…”. The sweet harmonies with Stills in the background anchoring everything with his wail.

It’s not a perfect album. It’s kind of clumsy in places and overwrought but once it connects with you it’s with you for life.

Just remember, “ we are stardust we are golden…”

3 thoughts on “we have all been here before…

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