we love you, our countries fucked…

I drove down the road being passed by big raised up trucks flying American flags, they are mostly diesels that belch great angry clouds of smoke as they downshift.

It’s not a parade, it’s a statement. It’s letting us all know they are there. The flag waving good ole boys. Or is that my own bias coming out there.

I was tailgated by a Kia, it was blue and the woman driving was probably half my age, she eventually passed me flipped me off and the bumper sticker proudly proclaimed her desire for a love of the god and the flag.

On the corner there is a Trump sign, its been there for years, it looks a bit run down leaning into the weather, red letters on a grubby off-white background. It must be six feet square.

I watched a man on TV tonight calling for us to unify, to come together, to get back on track, at no time did he talk of what divided us, the lies, the racism the abuses of power.

I realized that unity is almost impossible if you are not aware of how we got here, the small lies that got bigger, the fear and scapegoating that ended with the biggest of all lies.

I watched the numbers of sick getting higher and higher, almost a thousand a day in Oregon and I thought maybe we really have fucked ourselves as a race.

So I played Godspeed You ! Black Emperor and fell into the drones and the violence and cathartic dissonance and beauty of the music. It’s almost magical how every now and then the melody cuts through the noise.

Asunder, Sweet and Other Distress, it’s almost cataclysmic in its scope, crushing.

I planted some flowers in an old washing machine we found in the woods, the previous owner used it to pump water to irrigate his marijuana grow.

I also planted some peas and beans and tomatoes, along with corn and sunflowers.

Some things make life better.